THE LANDSCAPE OF THE MIND

Mountains and Rivers

Looking at ourselves with the same understanding we give the natural world.

When we look out to the rivers and the mountains, we don’t see problems. We just see the rivers and the mountains. We can try to judge them as good or bad, but it doesn’t get us very far. It doesn’t make sense to criticize the mountain for being too big or too steep.

Who am I to tell the rivers that they should have made a left instead of a right? When you see the vastness of mountains or the awesomeness of moving rivers, we appreciate it for what it is. The sight alone makes us feel differently.

We know that the rivers and the mountains work together. The mountain guides the water and the water cuts into the mountain so that everything falls right where it should be. The other parts of nature then fill in areas where they are comfortable.

Nature seems to be exempt from our critical eye and we understand that it is correct just as it is. The river understands that it is as intended because it exists, not because of its depth or width. It rightfully functions for the animals and plants that rely on it.

The plants that grow depend on the river to bring in nutrients and exist in accordance with the shores. The animals that inhabit the river are balanced with what they need simply because they exist. Nature doesn’t waste, and if it wasn’t supposed to be there, it wouldn’t be.

When we appreciate things in this way, we begin to see things differently. We, with our human eyes, will look at the river and think that the river could do better. It could be changed to supply crops and farm fish, to make it more useful for us.

But the river is just fine as it is.

It gives what is needed for the plants to grow and the animals to flourish. It could give more, but then the system would be disrupted. The plants would become abundant and the animals would grow in numbers, but that’s only a good thing if having more is better.

The plants are in a different kind of competition for resources because there are now more plants. The water runs differently, whether in volume or area, and the landscape changes. Now that the habitats are changing, the animals have to adapt to the new circumstances. The individual lives of the animals are disrupted and that can change their behavior.

All of this is because our view of “better” shifts the entire ecosystem and now something has to adjust. The good and the bad become less and less clear when we start to take a different perspective.

Appreciation of things as they are is rare, especially in the world we live in. We can extend this generosity to nature, but we often have a hard time extending it to ourselves.

We are told so often that we are defective and wrong. That we should be something that we aren’t and that what we are isn’t enough. This is repeated to us throughout our lives in our social circles and institutions. We live in a world where we are expected to be something and to act in a certain way.

But when we try, we often end up with more problems than we started with. We start to reprioritize things, and now I’m frantically trying to keep everything in order in the Whack-A-Mole of issues. I find myself exhausted and wanting to escape from myself and my situation. The more this happens, the further I retreat and the harder it becomes to escape myself and my unhappiness.

But what if this deficit model is wrong?

What if I were to give myself the same grace and appreciation that I give the mountains and the rivers? Just for a moment, what if I were to look at myself and say, “You are right where you are supposed to be.”

With all the bad and hurt, with the worry and lows, with the good and fun, all of it is right where it should be. It is uncomfortable and by no means dismisses the struggle that we face, but this perspective changes what I’m looking at.

Instead of seeing myself as this disfigured monster with horrible habits, maybe I’m just a human who is being a human the best way that I know how. And maybe the things that are going on in my life have purpose.

It may not be what I want, but I have to recognize that every part of every experience made me who I am, whether through choice, circumstance, or fate. And I carry all of this with me while I trek out along the path.

Even though it may look like dysfunction from the outside and feel unpleasant on the inside, I haven’t toppled over. I’m still here, and that means something. You are not willy-nilly and you don’t cross the road just because. You are a thinking, breathing person and you are uniquely you.

There will never be another you, and you play an important role in this picture of life. We are all growing and have work to do, but we also have to recognize the fact that we have made it this far, and that is a strength. Even though I may be down, I’m not out, and there is still time to do something different.