THE GROWING SELF MODEL

The Surge

What happens when life brings more pressure than our familiar ways of understanding can hold.

The system within our mind regulates itself and is able to handle most issues. Small changes are accommodated for and growth looks stable. Not every disruption is a Surge.

Sometimes the mind only needs to make a small adjustment. A new piece of information flows into an old Channel and the Channel widens. The Roots shift a little and the system keeps going.

But when reality and the inner world are too far out of alignment, the mind is troubled. The meaning we have been using can no longer hold the reality we are facing.

The Surge begins when the world gives us something that does not fit into our current understanding.

Sometimes this is a loss, a betrayal, a failure, a rejection, a change in identity, or a truth we did not want to see.

The mind first tries to send this information through the old Channels. It tries to understand the new situation with the old concepts. Typically, the Channels are able to hold the flow of information and the Roots have strong connections.

But when new issues in the external world come up, the Landscape becomes stormy and this puts pressure on the Channels. The current rushes and the Channel cannot contain the force. This rips at the Roots and collapses the Channel.

With the collapse, the water has nowhere to go. The water floods the Stream until the Mountains relieve the pressure. The Mountains are the deeper survival systems within us.

They do not ask what the moment means.
They ask what must happen now.

The mind does not know what to do and it relies on our natural drives. We may fight, run, freeze, collapse, numb out, cling, please, control, or lash out.

These responses are not random. They are attempts to bring the system back into balance.

What is left after the storm will reform and grow differently.

The Channels will form in new ways and the Roots will attach to these new Channels. These Surges test the system.

Some concepts are washed away because they were too shallow, too rigid, or no longer true. Other concepts remain because they are deeply rooted.

These are not always the easiest concepts, but they are the ones that can hold life with more honesty.

This is nature’s way of selecting what stays and what doesn’t. The Surge is part of the process of life and at times is needed when reality and understanding are far out of alignment.

The Surge is the incredible weight of the world rushing at you with little you can do to stop it.

It is not a failure of the Self.
It is part of being human.

We cannot remove storms from the Landscape without also removing the rain. Some storms destroy, but some storms clear the ground for new growth.

When we are small, this may look like the temper tantrum for not getting the candy at the checkout. The child has not yet developed the concepts to understand disappointment, waiting, or limits. The feeling is too big for the Channel to hold.

In adolescents, it may look like the gloom of teenage angst, rebellion, withdrawal, or intensity. The young person is trying to rebuild identity while the body, relationships, and social world are changing quickly.

In adulthood, the Surge may become more hidden. It can become a cycle of indifference, fighting, sex, overworking, drinking, shutting down, or chasing control. It may drive relationships into the same patterns over and over again.

These events cause massive disruption in our minds and bodies. Our systems become flooded and we start to swirl. We lash out and change our relationship with our surroundings.

Eventually, it reaches a point where we have to rethink the meaning we are making out of our lives. These are the low moments in life.

The loneliness sets in.
The joys in life seem to be hidden away.

The person may not return to the same understanding they had before. They may no longer believe the relationship is safe in the same way. They may no longer see themselves as weak, invincible, broken, or responsible for everything.

A role may crack.
A belief may be gone.
A relationship may be seen differently.

The Surge often reaches the Trunk because it threatens who we think we are. It is not only the situation that hurts. It is what the situation seems to say about us.

If I believed I was the good son, the reliable one, the strong one, or the person who always keeps everything together, then the Surge may challenge more than the moment. It may challenge the role I have been leaning into.

The old Roots may not be able to hold the pressure anymore. This change is uncomfortable and difficult, but whatever meaning we make during this regrowth becomes strong.

The old concepts are erased in the sands and new ones are formed. The Landscape may still be familiar, but something has changed.

The person may not have all the answers yet, but the old meaning can no longer be used in the same way.

This is where regrowth begins.

The Surge is not proof that something is wrong with us; it is proof that something in us is being asked to reorganize.